Assholes get the girls (i mean,look at me!). Big belief. Big limiting belief. A limiting belief is one that gets its power solely, or primarily, from the belief in it. Stop believing in it, and it is no longer true. This is how a great deal of things operate, and this is how this maxim does.
Let us first talk about the tendency toward this belief, as in, why it could be true. Charles Manson and cheerleaders aside, most people do not think they deserve to be worshipped. In fact, doing something nice for a person can make that person uncomfortable.
It is not so much the favor itself that bothers people – they just do not like feeling responsible for others’ sacrifices. Especially when they never asked for it. Guys (and some girls) however, forced into desperate measures by the competition for good tang (and some dick), often go out of their way to do something nice for that special someone. Often, this is before any consummation of the romantic feelings, as a way of saying, “Hey, I gave up on going to the strip club with my buddies and their keg so I could watch He’s Just Not That Into You. Blowjob?”
Unfortunately, this usually just alienates the couple(-to-be). Rather than enjoying each others’ company and remaining congruent (basically being a more consistent version of yourself), this places expectations on both people, ones that neither really has any interest in meeting. Most girls do not want a relationship based on you doing what-you-think-you-have-to-do, and most guys would rather see what really does happen in the champagne room (answer: “nothing” is a limiting belief).
I talked a while back about “investments.” This still holds. Do not be so jumpy to see every opportunity as your only chance.
At the same time, an investment is just as much measured by what you sacrifice as it is by what you (might) gain.
“Lose myself; gain pussy . . . Pierce, what is the problem?”
Losing yourself, in this sense, means you are not there to enjoy the fun. More than likely, you end up resenting the very thing you thought you wanted. Of course, girls are just going to think, “Fine, I thought you liked me. Outta here,” and you are out of there.
So what to do? That is the best part! Whatever you like! Compromises are one thing, but if your thought is that courting a girl means jumping through hoops and wandering mazes, play HALO 3 instead. W. Somerset Maugham, a guy who once said something really interesting, said this also: “A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her . . . but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.” In other words, if she is hurt by your awesome first-person-shooter skills, she will hurt the more if you give up the opportunity to win the tournament to window shop for puppies. Sorry honey, the Elite come first.
Now for challenging the maxim. Axe Body Spray held a contest for men everywhere for free tickets to the Super Bowl, with a group of girls, based on the interview with the girls. The winner was chosen based on the answer to whether he would miss any of the game to get beer for the girls. The winner said no, and the girls found this attractive. Cracked.com follows this with, “Chicks truly do dig assholes.”
Really? An asshole? Because he would not be tooled into thinking that grabbing a beer for the girls would somehow demonstrate his value as a provider, convincing them that orgiastic anal was okay? Sounds more like being a driven individual, way more attractive (and provider-worthy) than a door-mat/holder.
So no. Chicks do not dig assholes. You heard it here. They just dig non-cheap guys, the way they dig non-cheap everything else. Lesson is if you can be bought with a cute head tilt and whining inflection, you will not be bought, just used.