man

  1. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance”)
  2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
    (You are one Jurassic geezer.)
  3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way
    (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes upon)
  4. My life is too complicate right now.
    (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing)
  5. I’ve got a boyfriend
    (who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben & Jerry’s)
  6. I don’t date men where I work
    (Hey bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building)
  7. It’s not you, it’s me
    (It’s not me, it’s you)
  8. I’m concentrating on my career
    (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
  9. I’m celibate.
    (I’ve sworn off *only* the men like you.)
  10. …..and the #1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)Let’s be friends.
    (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with; it’s that ‘male perspective’ thing)
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