It’s the year 2011 and i am continuing my popular Male Brain series.

In the midst of our brain exists an ancient brain which often has different things on the agenda than we are aware about. This “ancient brain” is called the “Limbic” system or the “old brain”. This “old brain” is in fact quite similar in all mammals. Whether you look at the limbic system of dog, a monkey, a rat or a human you would hardly be able to see the difference!

It is the part of the brain in charge of the sexual arousal and is also responsible for orgasm. The limbic system is also the seat of deep emotion and that part which offers the elation when in love and the deep dark feelings associated with unmet romantic love. It knows what we like and what we don’t like at an instance. The outer layer of the brain is called the cerebral cortex and this system can override the deep impulses coming from the limbic system, but more often than not, the old brain convinces the cerebral cortex to follow its needs.

The cerbral cortex contains our “super ego” to use a layman term. It is the result of cultural learning and what our parents told us was good and not good. The well known dialogue we have when we are thinking whether we should go for the doughnut or not, is actually a dialogue taking place between the old and new brain! In the same way there is a deep inner dialogue within the male brain regarding ejaculation. The old brain is almost screaming, “do it, ejaculate now, propagate the genes” while the newer brain is shouts back “No! wait, I have to satisfy her, I have to take care of my image, I have to conserve my sexual energy” or whatever the new brain has been wired to think.

I am a web developer/designer and used to writing programs for computers. A program is a predetermined sequence of events that unfold themselves. For example, when you click on “save” in your Word file, Word is programmed to perform a predefined set of events, to take your file and pass it on to your operating system for saving. In the main routine which is to save the file, several subroutines are called. In this case a subroutine could be to check whether there is enough space left on the hard disk.

In a certain way the brain works in the same way. Certain programs are run calling subroutines in other areas of the brain.
One of the most powerful programs running in the operating system called our brain is the mating program or agenda. This routine ensures that we impregnate a woman, look after the children for some years while they yet are vulnerable and then look for new mates. In this way the genes find as many possible ways as possible to pass them selves onward. The program runs more or less like this:

1) Find a mate
2) Fall madly in love with her (Subroutine 1 is activated: The romance program)
3) Make love with her
4) Impregnate her
5) Stay with her long enough to get through the early years of the child
6) Get all kinds of marital problems (“she’s too bossy and nagging, she doesn’t understand me anymore, I need my freedom again etc”)
7) Start opening your eyes for new potential mates (the Coolidge subroutine is activated. In this part of the program the brain starts rewarding looking at other women with generous amounts of dopamine)

Recognize this pattern? We can convince ourselves of all kinds of things: “we don’t see eye to eye anymore, she is like this and I am like that, but more often than not we are simple slaves of a deep biological program. With our new brain we try to rationalize impulses which stem from the old brain. If we do not become aware of these patterns we become like hamsters in a wheel, forever searching for fulfillment and happiness without knowing how happiness actually is created.

This article has been adapted from